Untitled
by Kitkat200725
Summary: Last chapter now posted. This is my life, an untitled piece of angst and sorrow. Lil’ Slugger saved me at my rope’s end for reasons I don’t think even he knew. Slowly and painfully, I fell in love with a murderer. Lil’ SluggerxOC R&R.
1. The Golden Bat

Untitled

By: Kit kat

Repost: This is my life, an untitled piece of angst and sorrow. Lil' Slugger saved me at my rope's end for reasons I don't think even he knows. Slowly and painfully, I fell in love with a murderer. Lil' SluggerxOC R&R. Rewritten, reposted, new rating.

Disclaimer: I don't own Paranoia Agent!

Author's note: I completely understand constructive criticism but flames are really low. If I ever find myself not liking a story, I won't leave a review if I can't say something to help them improve their writing. The reason I deleted this story was a mean flame I let get to my head. If you don't like this, that's ok, you don't have to read it. Please don't trash something I put a lot of effort into making. I know you guys would want the same respect for your fanfics.

On a lighter note, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this somewhat. Check out my C2 Lil' Slugger in Love to see other paranoia romance fanfics I thought were good.

.kitkat

**This is rated T but I might have to up the rating. I rewrote a lot of the violent parts so I could try making this with a little less angst. Please let me know in reviews if you think this should be rated M, because I don't want to offend people.**

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Rain trickled off the sides of my umbrella as I walked solemnly. The clouds were a fierce gray and I could already hear the thunder echo in the distance. _Can't turn back now… I must see him before I go._

My pace quickened as tears salted my cheeks in a bitter attempt to make me feel better. Nothing could ever make me whole again after the accident…

_Sloosh!_ I lost my footing in the flood and fell to the ground, accidentally releasing my umbrella into the cruel wind.

"Damn it." I cursed, running a hand through soaked tresses.

_Ding ding ding…_

My ears perked at the sound. I frantically looked around, praying I'd see that bent, golden bat scrapping against the gutter. _Lil' Slugger!_

But my search was in vain. The wind blew harder across the barren street, only occupied with the continuous flow of rain.

"Get a grip!" I cried aloud to myself, "He's never coming back. He's never coming back for you!"

I pounded the hard cement as the old memories returned. Memories of me, memories of him… Everything rushing back too fast.

And there I lay, the rain now beating upon my shaking back, as I bid farewell to reality.

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(AN: Everything now is a flashback, in the memory of the main character until the end)

"Mornin', Jordan." Blake said casually as he approached me before school. He was a tall, broad-shouldered boy of 16 and handsome as hell. He was wearing the school uniform, a white collared shirt and tie complete with navy slacks.

"…Mornin'." A huge smile broke across my face. I tried to wrap my arms around him but he pushed me off in alarm.

"Not here!" he motioned for me to follow him behind the school. The area was shaded and secluded from the rest of the students. He shoved me against the wall and roughly began kissing my face.

"Why don't you want the others to see us?" I moaned, half sad half in ecstasy, as his shaking fingers brushed against my neck.

"You know how it is, babe." his hot breath tickled the inside of my ear and sent electric shocks throughout my lean body. "Now be quiet and let me have some fun."

Suddenly, I snapped out of it and tried to push Blake off. He was just using me again, as always.

"No, I won't do this anymore!" I cried, as I struggled under his tight grip. "You choose me or that Yumi bimbo."

It was no use. Blake was 6'3 and incredibly strong compared to my 110 pound, lanky body. He could probably crush my right arm with his pinky. Blake smirked evilly and held on tighter.

"Looks like you don't have a whole lot of options now, does it? You either hold still or I'll beat you to a pulp. Either way, I'm going to get what I want."

His hand clamped over my mouth, leaving me inaudible. Tears ran down my cheeks as I felt hands run over my stomach, slowly crawling lower.

_Lil' Slugger please save me!_

Lil' Slugger… It was dumb of me to even think the infamous serial killer would come to my rescue, let alone read my mind. Still, it was the only thing I could think to do. _Please!_

WHACK! I heard the sickening crunch of Blake's head against a blur I presumed was the golden bat. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he released me as he fell to the ground. Blood gushed everywhere, some even on my shirt and face. Slowly, my eyes connected with my liberator.

He stood there, much taller than me, with his slick roller blades clutching to his calves. A red cap was pulled over his face but I could still see his glowing eyes dancing with happiness only a demon could possess. A psychotic grin was planted on his face and the knuckles on his right hand were white from the vice grip he had on the bat.

We stood like that for what seemed like eternity, staring at the other while Blake's blood painted the grass scarlet. Finally, he turned to leave.

"Wait!" I called. His head turned back toward me. "Why did you save me?"

He smirked insanely again. "You asked."

"B-but… I… Stay with me!" I bowed my head. Without warning he rolled up to me, leaving only a few inches between us.

"Why?" my heart began to race. I had never felt this way before about a stranger. Sure, I had many boyfriends in the past but he different. Maybe I was into bad boys…

"B-because… I can help you too." Boldly, I closed the space left by wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face into his dirty sweatshirt. It felt right.

I felt Slugger's body tense under my touch. He seemed confused as to what to do. He tried to raise his bat, thinking he would kill me, but lowered it again.

"Let go." I flinched at the coldness in his voice. I did as I was told, releasing him from my embrace.

"…" I stared at the blood soaked ground, hurt.

"What do they call you?" Lil' Slugger asked, slightly pitying me.

"Jordan."

"Jordan…?"

"Yeah."

"…" An awkward silence passed between us and I could see his face strain, trying to think what to say.

"I don't have a name." He said bluntly.

"Hm… Lil' Slugger… you're not so little anymore." I stared into his flashing eyes. "Li for short."

"Li?" he cocked an eyebrow at me. "Didn't your parents ever tell you not to name a stray? If you do, you'll become attached to it."

"Really now…" I smiled. "Maybe this will be the beginning of something good."

"Maybe not." Damn his bluntness!

"What're you into?" I asked seductively, running my fingers down his chest.

He tensed and stepped back. Was Lil' Slugger actually afraid of me? I smirked and stepped toward him again.

"Stop." He commanded but I disobeyed. I was no longer terrified of the mass murderer. I let my lips brush against his neck, not noticing his face become darker by the minute.

"Lie down!" he roared. He grabbed his bat and hit my kneecaps, forcing my legs to buckle. His teeth began attacking my own neck, relentlessly, as I laid perfectly still, now afraid for my life.

However I couldn't remain quiet forever and quickly I cried out in pain at the aching bruise forming on my neck. His eyes grew wide when he saw my red face, full of panic and exasperation.

"Don't look at me that way…" he whispered, "I told you to stop. I warned you…"

He pulled me from the ground and helped me stand straight though I was still violently shaking. My shirt was pretty torn, so he threw off his sweatshirt and helped me slide my arms through the sleeves. Lil' Slugger gathered his bat and turned to me again, his eyes almost "normal."

"I'll see you later." Although his grin was demented he leaned over and kissed my forehead, leaving me stunned and craving the hard love only he could give me.

I stood in Blake's blood, staring after the uncontrollable 16-year-old and feeling the best and worst I could ever possibly feel in my life.

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	2. Angel

Ok chapter 2 yeah! Wow I updated pretty fast. Unfortunately, I probably won't update this fast again because of school. I just had a lot of free time… Yeah for free time!

I'm not sure how long I'm planning this but hopefully five more chapters or longer depending on how I develop the plot. I know how I want to end this but I'm just letting the plot take me wherever for the moment. Thanks to all who have reviewed so far, you guys rock!

Oh, and to let you guys know… Jordan is a girl in this story. It's a cute name, ne? Well at least I thought so smiles. R&R please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Paranoia Agent!

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Untitled

By: kit kat

Chapter 2: Angel

Weeks went by and I never heard from him. Each day left me feeling more and more cold.

My school was in panic after Lil' Slugger's attack on Blake. In fact, no one felt safe except me. I didn't care. My body desired his thrashings and crazed eyes...

It was sick, and I knew it. No one normal enjoys almost getting raped and beat to a pulp, or at least that's what I tried telling myself. Inside I felt like Lil' Slugger had been my wish, what I really needed in life... My fallen angel sent to kiss away the pain.

I sat sadly on a park bench watching the couples stroll by me. I wanted them all to die. Why did they get love so easily when I must wait day after day, the pain growing with each damn second!

The sun was beginning to fade as the people left, leaving me alone in the park. I rested my head against the back of a bench and closed my swollen eyes. I hated home.

All I had was my father, a deranged alcoholic who believed I was good for nothing. He beat me senseless every time I came home, claiming in his drunken stumper I was the reason mom had died…

My fingers lightly touched the painful bruise he had created on my right cheek last night. I shuttered at the smallest contact on it. It was nothing like the love mark Lil' Slugger had left me on my neck…

"Hey doll face." I nearly fell off the bench in surprise when my eyes shot open to see Lil' Slugger leaning over me, that mechanical grin plastered as always on his face. His hands reached out and brushed against the bruise on my cheekbone. I recoiled from his touch in shock and anger.

"I-I haven't seen you in weeks!" my voice trembled with hurt. "What do you want with me?"

His hands snatched my shoulders tightly and I tried my best to avoid his eyes as he stared at me. Lil' Slugger was so close… Close enough for me to feel his breath on my face. Chills ran through me every time the warmth slid over my lips, making me wince anxiously.

"Who did this?" I finally looked at him in disbelief. Did he… care? "Who destroyed the porcelain face of this doll?" I blushed hotly and immediately snapped my head the other way.

"Leave me alone."

But Lil' Slugger never followed anyone's commands but his own. He nuzzled his face into my neck and began biting softly.

"Stop." I cried, tired of the abuse. He was just using me, like everyone else. Flashbacks of Blake replayed in my brain as tears threatened to fall. No, I wouldn't let him see me weak like this!

"Who touched you?" his tongue gently lapped over my chin and up to the blue mark on my cheek, causing me to spasm in pain.

"I-it was no one." I struggled but he was too strong.

"Don't they know," he whispered into my ear, his words shooting electricity through my body, "that I'm the only one allowed to touch you?"

He lay me on the ground and held me in his arms as he continued kissing my face. I was still and quiet, shocked at his words. I wanted to believe them. So bad I wanted to believe them. But I was always afraid…

Afraid he would grow tired of me. Afraid that he would leave me. Afraid of rejection and heartbreak!

"Please… Li…" I whispered my pet name to him, hoping he'd cease the torture. He looked at me and grinned.

"I think I like that…" he said, "but you better tell me who did that," he pointed to my cheek, "or you'll force me to beat it out of you." He laughed insanely, holding up his golden bat.

My eyes grew large in fear. Why am I protecting my father? Why can't I just tell him? I must or there will be more bruises. More stares from judgmental classmates…

"NO!" I cried as the bat swung down. He stopped it right above my stomach, waiting for an answer. "It-it was my f-father!"

Lil' Slugger put his head down and a dark shadow crossed over his face. He stood up, his bat in hand, and turned to skate away.

"Damn it you better not move a muscle," he growled, "Cuz if I come back and you're gone, I will hunt you down. I will find you!"

And he skated away dangerously fast. So fast the wind seemed to move slower than the crazed serial killer. I didn't dare try to run away. I curled into a ball and began to shake, wondering what he was going to do to my father. But even I knew that was a stupid question.

Hours seemed to pass and I stayed in that position, wide-awake and scared to death. Finally I heard blades screeching against the pavement and I looked up. There he stood with that mad smirk on his face again. His bat was dripping with fresh blood.

"All better." He whispered as he knelt beside me, causing the hair on the back of my neck to rise. He resumed scrapping his teeth over my arms and up to my fragile collarbone. I shut my eyes, sighing in pleasure, and refused to open them as he had his way with me.

When it was finally over, he retreated his warm body from mine and I sighed sadly. I only wanted him to tell me how he really felt… Did he like me or was this only his entertainment after a killing spree?

"I enjoy your body," he said, almost flushed, "it's so different from the others…"

"You mean to tell me I'm not the only one?" I was genuinely hurt and let my disappointment show through.

"You're the first I've had like this… The others were different. You are the only one I'm having now." He contemplated on his answer as my heart leapt a little.

"How is it different with me?" I asked hopefully.

"You know." He stared at my pale body, enhanced in the fading moonlight, and let his fingers run over my wide hips.

"Oh." Again I felt sad and confused. He crawled on top of me and craned his neck so his eyes were looking directly into mine. So close… He had never kissed me on the lips before. Would he now?

I could feel him trembling on top of me as I boldly stroked his cheek with my thumb. His skin was surprisingly smooth for someone so vicious…

"How do you really feel about me, Li?" I whispered breathlessly as I gazed into his demented eyes.

"I don't feel." Ugh that damned bluntness yet again.

"Well… what is it you want then… from me?"

"…Sex?" he looked at me weird, as if I was supposed to know.

"I-I can't do this!" I shoved him off of me and stood up, preparing to leave.

"Why not?" I could hear the anger rising in his voice, "You seemed to like it before."

"Because Lil' Slugger," I said coldly, "you do not care."

I turned around to face him. He looked very taken aback and looked pissed nonetheless. I began to walk away when I felt a cold surface collide against my head, ringing unmercifully. I wasn't dead but stunned, paralyzed on the grass.

"Damn it Jordan," his voice hissed, "I can't kill you. You're the only victim I've ever spared." Tears began to run down his face as I watched in shock.

"Why?" I choked out feeling rather dazed.

"Because…" he paused "I am your angel."

He wrapped his arms around me and my heart seemed to stop as the cool wind swirled around our bodies. I barely remember him bandaging my wound with a shredded cloth and kissing my cheek before skating away, abandoning me yet again.


	3. Hostage

I'm sorry for the delay in updating! School got in the way and I was sick for a few days so I had a butt load of makeup work. I hope this chapter makes up for it, I made it a little longer than they normally are.

Hey everyone check out my c2 Lil' Slugger in Love . there's only a few stories but I've picked out some of the best Paranoia Agent romances I've read so far, including my own story . R&R!

.kitkat

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Untitled

By: kit kat

Chapter 3: Hostage

I'm not really sure how I got home after that. Everything was literally a blur because of my wounded head. I remember him skating away shortly after our brief conversation, if that's what you can even call it, leaving me to bleed by myself.

I stumbled through the barren streets cold and afraid. My clothes were ripped… there could be a rapist out there. It's ironic how I didn't mind so much being used by the most dangerous guy in the country only minutes before…

When I reached my house I was hit with a rude awakening. The door had already been kicked open and a draft was blowing in. I hobbled as fast as I could into the house and could see the roller blade marks on the carpet. Oh God, oh God.

My heart was about to explode as I limped through my trashed house. The couch had been split open, a lamp lay cracked on the floor, some curtains were torn from their place… Finally, I reached the kitchen and let out a shriek.

There lay my father in a pool of scarlet blood, his eyes bloodshot and wide open. I dropped to the floor next to his body and searched for a pulse in his wrist. Nothing.

I examined his head. His skull had obviously been bashed and was cracked open in the back. In horror I witnessed his brain now start to ooze out of the slit, floating among the draining blood.

Tears wet my cheeks disdainfully as I slapped myself. I knew this would happen. I knew if I told Lil' Slugger he would kill my father. But is that what I really wanted?

I collapsed to the floor, crying harder than ever before in his blood. All the memories resurfaced, the good times… when mom was still alive.

Her wispy auburn hair matched my own, as beautiful as silk. Her pale skin fit perfectly over a lean body; never an imperfection. She hardly ever lost her smile behind those rosy lips, no matter the circumstances that fell upon us. She was the most gorgeous woman I had ever known.

Everyday was a new day. She would wake up first to cook pancakes or biscuits; whatever she thought would please dad and me. The aroma would awake both of us and we would scramble down the stairs to get a piece of that cooking, laughing as we sped into the kitchen.

When I was ready to leave for school, I'd skip out the door and hide behind the oak tree at the side of my house. There, I would watch him embrace her before he left for work through the kitchen window. They'd act as if they were teenagers in love again! Then, she'd lean in for a passionate kiss and he'd stroke her hair as if they'd never see each other again.

Some might have thought it weird that I watched my own parents display their affection with fascination. But I didn't care. I was amazed that their love would never fade. Day after day they held each other even tighter than before.

I jealously wished for a love like theirs. It seemed I was different from every other teen. I could never get love right. When I finally realized what I wanted I'd never pick the right person. They always used me and threw me away like a crumpled piece of paper, uncared for and useless.

They never told me she was sick. Terminal cancer, I found out much later when she lay on her deathbed, smiling with tears glistening on her cheeks. Everyday my parents put on a show for me while they held on tightly to each other, knowing she'd soon leave us forever.

I think they knew I would probably kill myself if I found out. The only reason I didn't after she passed away was Dad. He needed me, no matter how much he claimed to hate me when he drank. I knew behind the alcohol he was still the same man, desperately hurting that she had floated away from our grasp.

"Dad," I whispered as my fingers brushed over his pale forehead. Tears dripped from my face and lightly landed on his cold cheek, pale with death. "Your suffering is over now. I know you'll be better-off with mom than you ever were with me."

I held his hand in my own, stroking the colorless knuckles sorrowfully. At last the sun broke through the kitchen window and I let him go, rising to take a shower before leaving for school.

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School was unbearable. I had about as much concentration as a fly and even allowed myself to sleep throughout each class. It didn't make much of a difference anyway. They were probably going to send me away to some foster home or something and I'd never live here again.

I wondered if Lil' Slugger would still come visit me when they took me away. The more I thought about it, the more I was glad he put down my father. I don't think he even really did it for me. Dad had been on a downward spiral ever since we buried Mom. Now, he could at least sleep in peace.

The sunlight felt like acid eating away at my skin when I stepped outside at 4 o'clock. I walked home dragging my feet. I never wanted to go back, but there was nothing left I could do to prolong my fate.

My house came in view as I neared slowly. My eyebrows knit in confusion, what the hell was going on? Yellow tape was blocking the entrance to my house and I saw my neighbors conversing with some detectives.

In the distance I could hear sirens and I gasped in sudden fear and realization. I never called the cops! They were going to think I killed him!

But before I could turn to run, my neighbors pointed at me and every eye seemed to lock on my position. Wildly, my legs flew out in front of me and I began running as fast as I could with no direction.

The wind rushed all around me as I sprinted through the street and into the park. My breath was becoming shorter with each stride but I willed myself to keep going... If they caught me… it would all be over.

The trees became thicker and I found myself in a forest behind the park. A shiver pierced my spine when I looked around at my surroundings. Darkness developed through the shade of the trees blocking sunlight from entering and I was scared to death.

No one liked this place. No one ever went here.

I had no choice though as I continued to weave my way throughout the clearing. Unluckily enough, my foot connected with a dead stump hidden on the ground and I flew to the hard earth below, hitting the side of my head against a bulky rock. The wound from the previous night was instantly reopened.

"Damn it!" I cursed when I tried to get up. It felt like a thousand needles were stuck in my ankle and it was beginning to swell into a purplish knot. Blood oozed down the side of my face and I began feeling lightheaded as I looked at the miles of leaves and branches above me.

I groaned and clutched my leg close. Why did this have to happen? Can I never get a break?

The pain made me want to scream as I rocked back and forth in the charcoal dirt. Would I be left to die here? No one could help me all the way out in the middle of the forest.

My head fell back in exhaustion and I felt my body relax. Maybe dying wasn't that bad. I was so numb my mind was delusional. My eyelids shut gently as I curled into a little ball.

"Jordan." A voice whispered softly.

"Hmm?" I moaned softly.

I saw an angel standing above me with flowing brown locks and blue eyes deep enough to get lost in. In one hand he held a golden staff and an aura of light surrounded him as he bent over my limp body. His heavenly hand reached out and caressed my cheek.

"Do you want me to save you?" his voice was smooth and deep as it rang through my ears like a bell.

"Yes… take me from this world, Angel." I said quietly and with the last of my strength, I reached my arms out to him.

The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly and he smiled at me… it was so beautiful I wanted to cry. His rosy lips found my forehead as he lifted me into broad arms. Then we began to fly away and out of the forest.

My head rested against his chest, soaking his shirt with blood. I felt myself falling asleep but I fought to stay awake.

"Don't fall asleep," Angel said as he gently shook me, "you may never wake up again."

But at that point I didn't really care. Sleeping forever sounded intoxicating. I was tired of this world and all its problems.

"Where are we going?" I asked groggily.

"To my place." He answered and I wondered what he meant.

"Heaven?"

He stared into my face and laughed. I felt uneasy.

"About as far from heaven as you're going to get." He whispered and I felt my body turn to ice as I fainted out of consciousness.

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I awoke on a small mattress lying on the floor. When my vision stabilized, I gazed at the room. It was very plain and empty, with only a lamp and small closet shoved up against one of the walls.

A throbbing pain pulsed through my head and I put my hand up to touch it. Surprisingly, someone had already bandaged the cut and stopped the blood. I strained to remember who brought me here.

"You're awake." I jumped at the sound of his voice.

"L-Lil' Slugger?" I was completely bewildered.

"You were expecting an angel?" his eyes lit up in amusement and he grinned psychotically. My face burned red at his comment and my eyes lowered to the floor.

"Thank you," I murmured humbly. "but… why?"

"Such a typical thing to ask." He walked up to the mattress and knelt beside me, looking into my eyes. "Do you ever wonder why not?"

I shivered at his words and the hair on my neck rose slightly. My eyes darted away from his face as a futile attempt to avoid his piercing stare but he caught my chin in his hand and forced me back toward him.

"Look at me." he commanded and I obeyed fearfully.

"What do you feel for me Jordan?" I stared at him taken aback. It was such a sensitive question for someone like him to ask.

"What if I said I don't feel anything?" I mumbled. I was a horrible liar and I knew he saw right through me.

"I wouldn't believe you."

"How can you just expect me to answer something like that when you tell me you only want me for sex?" I could feel the anger boiling deep inside my soul.

He pondered my question and shrugged, letting go of my chin in the process. I watched him as he stood up and walked out of the room. When he reached the door, however, he paused and turned back to me.

"I'll be out for a while. I suggest you stay in bed and let your ankle heal. If you try to leave, I will find you." Our eyes locked for a few moments before he turned away and left the room.

I tried to understand everything we had said. Everything was so confusing between me and him, but I was grateful he had saved me yet again. Maybe he did care for me. Maybe he didn't.

All I knew at that moment was that I was now his hostage, locked in the darkness of a shack in the forest. But somehow, it all didn't really seem that bad.


	4. Demon

Wow it's been awhile since I've updated… sorry! I'm finally on spring break so I thought I should probably try to get as much done as I can. Thanks for waiting patiently. R&R!

.kit kat

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Untitled

By: kit kat

Chapter 4: Demon

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Sleep had never haunted me so viciously as it did that first night in Lil' Slugger's shack. Each dream turned nightmare as I tossed back and forth in a cold sweat. At one point, I began to weep, afraid of the darkness surrounding me.

_Every inch of the room took form of a knife, cutting my arms, legs, and face. My father's crumpled body appeared before me, a river of blood flowing from his cracked head._

"_Dad!" I shrieked and reached out toward his limp form as the knives continued to slash me._

"_Help me! Someone!" I moaned, rocking quietly on the floor in my blood. Everything was spinning violently in every direction with no hope of salvation. _

"_Lil' Slugger…" his name escaped my lips sorrowfully. "Li!"_

My eyes flew open and I gasped for air, breathing heavily. Chills ran through my body as I entered a cold sweat and began shivering. Something warm shifted beside me and arms instantly wrapped around my waist.

"L-Li?" I mumbled in surprise.

I turned my cheek to the side and saw his sleeping profile huddled close to mine, his chin now resting in the crook of my collarbone. Soft lips grazed over the sensitive skin and I trembled with relief.

"You ok?" he whispered, sounding somewhat concerned.

"Um yes… Nightmares."

"Yeah I heard you crying in your sleep so I came to sleep with you." His voice soothed me as his nose nuzzled my neck. Is he being… affectionate?

"Oh. T-thank you." My heart skipped a beat as blood rushed to my face.

"Sure." I could imagine the smirk forming on his face.

"…" I was unsure what to say at that point. I mean, I had never seen that side of him before. It was a little weird.

"It gets lonely here." He finally spoke.

"Oh…" I answered dumbly.

"My life is monotonous… I wake up, kill, and go back to sleep. Always alone…" I watched his eyes glass over as if I could see all the angst and pain they held.

"Are you saying you like having me here?" I asked cautiously, turning my body to face his.

"…" Although he said nothing his eyes seemed to answer me, shining in a mysterious light.

Breathing quickened as my face leaned toward his leisurely. In response he grasped my hands and laced our fingers together firmly, his intense stare never leaving my lips. His forehead rested against mine, breath panting with anticipation.

"Jordan."

"Freeze!" the door burst open and I screamed.

Three cops aimed their guns toward us as Lil' Slugger leapt to his feet, gripping the golden bat furiously. His eyes flashed with rage and returned to their possessed demeanor.

"Drop the bat and put your hands in the air." One demanded bravely though his gun was shaking.

"You really want to die today, don't you?" he grinned widely, charging the men.

I covered my head as gunshots rang throughout the room, the whole scene seeming surreal. My eyes shut tight and refused to open, afraid of witnessing the murders.

"Agh!" Terrified screams pierced my eardrums as aluminum met bone.

"Y-you're a demon!" A voice cried.

"No, I am the angel from hell." Lil' Slugger answered cruelly before crushing the man into purgatory.

I remained crouched on the floor trembling uncontrollably long after the bullets had stopped flying. Finally, Lil' Slugger walked toward my pitiful form, his feet sloshing through the fresh blood on the floor. He reached a hand out to touch me but I winced away.

"Now you know the real me, huh? Scared?" his voice shook with anger and violence.

"…"

"I'm a fucking murderer, Jordan! What the hell did you expect from me? I am not your savior, I am a creature of the damned!" Rage escaped as he swung his bat around the room viciously, breaking a lamp and tearing into the wall.

"Why don't you stop then?" I finally sobbed.

"Because this is my job. My life has no other purpose than to kill!" his eyes glared at me wildly and I knew I had lost him.

"You are a demon." I choked, salty tears streaming down my cheeks.

Flashing pupils dilated as he stared at me sadly, dropping the bloody bat to the floor. At impact, the aluminum clanged against the floorboards, rattling for a few seconds afterwards.

I instantly regretted my words. Trying to think of something to say, I opened my mouth but nothing came out and I remained gaping stupidly.

"Come on, we have to go." He said quietly while gathering a few possessions. "They will send more soon."

I nodded and helped pack clothing and what little food he had stored, feeling incredibly depressed.

"Ready?" he ignored eye contact.

"Yes…"

"Here take these." A pair of roller blades were shoved into my hands hastily.

"What about you?" I asked timidly.

"Those are my old ones… they should fit you."

He produced his own blades and began strapping them on quickly. I followed suit, looking out the window and noticing rain.

"Um… I have no jacket."

Lil' Slugger paused from tying the laces and threw off his sweatshirt to me.

"But…"

"Just take it. I have no feelings anyway, only dumbness." His comment took me aback and I shook my head.

"Lets go."

I skated out wobbly and struggled greatly to keep up with Lil' Slugger's velocity, especially in the rain. My leg was still extremely sore from the fall I had experienced in the forest and skating made it feel as if a thousand pieces of glass were jabbing into my delicate ankle at once.

"Wait for me!" I called into the storm as the winds picked up speed, pushing me backward.

He ignored me, however, and continued slicing through the flood with ease. I struggled to drive forward, biting my lip until blood began trickling down my chin. The ache was just too great though as I felt my leg stiffen and give way to the slippery grass.

"Li!" I shouted, staggering to the ground in pain.

"Jordan!"

He raced back toward me and collapsed to the ground. Carefully touching my leg, he ripped my pants to examine my swelling ankle.

"We need to get you to a hospital. You strained the injury you already had even worse."

"No!" I rejected like a three-year-old.

"You're wounded." He stated bluntly.

"I don't care! If I go they'll take me away and I'll never get to see you again!" I yelled furiously, the rain drenching our bodies to the bone.

"…Jordan, I—"

"I'm sorry I hurt you! You're not a demon, Li. I was just scared when you killed them."

"You cannot have fear if you want to stay with me." he answered coolly.

"I want to stay with you!"

"Why?" his voice held skepticism.

"Why not?"

"No! Damn it Jordan I want a reason." His hands grabbed my wrists forcefully and he watched me closely, waiting for an answer.

My lip was trembling and vision clouded with rainwater. I could barely see him kneeling above me, his amazing irises standing out the clearest among the gray night.

"You cannot be serious." I laughed insanely, my head bowed to the ground.

With the last bit of strength, I threw myself to his chest and wrapped my arms around his ribcage, sighing sadly. His body tensed under my touch at first, but soon relaxed.

"How can you not see?"

"See what?" he murmured.

"...I'm in love with you." My words echoed quietly into the atmosphere.

A few silent moments passed as the downpour and thunder continued to fall from the sky like tears from heaven. Noiselessly, Lil' Slugger wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.

I could have sworn I felt a tear drop slide onto my face, but it might have just been the bittersweet rain.

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Sorry this chapter is so ridiculously short! I just wanted to get something posted before I leave for New York. I'll try writing a lot more in the next chapter since I have some interesting ideas (shifty eyes).

.kit kat


	5. Savior

Ok I've risen from the dead to write! Thanksgiving break finally so I'll have some time to get some chapters done for this story and my other fics I've been horribly procrastinating. Sorry about the wait, I made sure to make this chapter a bit longer at about 2,500 words so it took me longer to write/edit. I'm relieved because I finally figured out how I'm going to get this story to the ending I envision. R&R

.kit kat

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Untitled

By: kit kat

Chapter 5: Savior

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My eyes opened lazily as I buried my face further into Li's chest. Fingers gently combed through my tangled hair and he yawned. Suddenly, I wished we could lay like this forever. His arms were so comfortable… I didn't want to know anything but him.

"How's your ankle?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Fine." I lied.

"Let's go then."

I moved my head to finally analyze our surroundings. We were basically lying in a shrub, branches and leaves barely covering us from the public.

"Ugh, I feel so unclean." I sighed playing with my matted hair. Li smirked at me and held out his hand.

"Why don't we go bathe then?"

"Wha…?" my face flushed scarlet and his eyes flashed mischievously.

"You're going to need help… I bet you can't even stand up by yourself."

I didn't reply and continued to stare out into space. Without warning, he bent over and picked me up, leaving behind our supplies and skates. I felt slightly uncomfortable, however, because he brought along his bat.

Li walked silently until a small lake came to view and he set me by the water. My heart raced as he removed his shirt, revealing his surprisingly built form.

"Have you been here before? You seem to know your way around." I started lamely in a weak attempt at conversation to make the scene less awkward.

"Yes." He unbuttoned his pants and I turned away until he slid into the water.

"Um…" Li stared at me, unblinking. Slowly, I slipped my arms out of his sweatshirt and the clothes underneath. I don't think it was possible for me to turn anymore red. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't watched my every move.

"Delicious." He whispered coldly, sending shivers throughout my exposed body. I managed to roll into the water and felt hands secure around my waist.

As the waves lapped over our skin, last night's events replayed in my mind. He had never said anything back to me… about my confession that is.

After standing in the rain for an eternity, he picked me up and continued to skate. I watched him confused, desperately needing him to say something… anything.

"Why…" the word cracked as I held back tears. I was tired of guessing how he felt about me.

"What?" he pressed my body closer to his and I gasped.

"N-nothing." I gulped, feeling our curves press together. This was so humiliating in ways he couldn't even begin to understand.

It was hard to except the fact that I was being used… there was no other explanation for it. His fingers gently ran up and down my exposed spine, leaving shivers of want and ache.

"We better go…" I squeaked as he pressed his cheek to mine and burrowed his nose into my ear, blowing air into the crevice.

"You're… not happy?" he whispered. I wanted to cry.

"It's not like that… I just wish… I…" my words blurred together and I stuttered while he watched me with those merciless eyes.

"I have a surprise for you. I think you'll like it." He licked my reddening cheek.

"Um—what is it?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." He smirked at my dumbfounded expression and gently lifted me back onto the shore. It felt strange lying out naked but the sun was so warm and nice that I stopped caring and enjoyed being with Lil' Slugger for the moment.

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"I'll be back, stay here." He commanded, golden bat in hand as he left.

We had traveled without rest all day and I was exhausted. Curling up on the cool grass, I gazed at the first stars of the approaching night.

I had never been much interested in them before, they always just faded into the dark sky as tiny white dots without purpose. But as I watched them appear, I realized that I was much like them. I had no real purpose in this universe.

They are dependent on the night to finally let them shine through because once the sun rises, they are hidden from the world once again. Lil' Slugger was the darkness that surrounded me yet made me shine at the same time, as corny as it sounded.

Wheels squeaked next to me and I saw his form out of the corner of my eye, the gold bat gleaming even in the dull light of the moon.

"Hey." I murmured without turning my head.

"Change into this." He threw the article onto my stomach. My fingers reached out and stroked the satin material. I brought the cloth to my eyes and stared at the scarlet dress in awe.

"Is this my gift?"

"Part of it. Now change." He skated away, leaving me bewildered and clutching the beautiful dress.

Discarding my ragged clothes I slipped into the gown and did my best to tie the back. It fit like a glove, molding to my curves and cascading in layers to the floor. The short sleeves fell off the shoulder, exposing my fair arms in a classy way.

"Breathtaking." I jumped slightly at the voice behind me and turned to see Lil' Slugger eying me. He approached my back and fixed the laces I had failed to tie neatly. My body tensed as he ran his hands down my hips and placed a kiss on the nape of my neck, his insane grin beaming the entire time.

"Let's go." I nodded and finally noticed his new attire.

Even in the shadows he looked incredible—hair combed and gelled neatly minus the baseball cap, an impressive black suit with matching slacks, and shined shoes replaced the skates. I never imagined he would clean up so… nicely.

I held my breath as he lifted me in his arms and walked me through the woods quietly. Tree leaves brushed lightly over our forms as Lil' Slugger pushed his way further into the forest, the pale starlight highlighting the pronounced features of his face all the while. His eyes, now a shade of deep amber, flickered wildly through the dim light.

"Where are we going?" I whispered, afraid any sudden motion would shatter this dream and I would wake up alone.

"Somewhere." He smirked, holding me tighter.

The forest grew less dense as we continued and what looked like city lights peered out over the horizon. Were we about to approach civilization? I looked at him questioningly but he just shrugged and kept walking until the trees disappeared and we stood at the edge of a road.

"Can you walk? We only have a little left to go and I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention." He lowered me and I stepped onto the hard cement of the sidewalk.

"Aren't you afraid we'll be caught?" I asked while eyeing the unfamiliar scenery.

"No." he said indifferently.

Although his attitude didn't leave me much assurance I decided to suck it up but not drop my guard. Lil' Slugger wouldn't be recognized in his current state but I didn't know if the police had sent out my picture or how restlessly they were searching for me. Even though I hadn't committed the murder I had still run from the crime scene as probably the prime suspect, a felony none-the-less.

I was so preoccupied in my own thoughts I nearly ran into Lil' Slugger when he finally stopped. I looked up in confusion to see a restaurant. The door opened and a couple walked out, letting the live jazz music travel to my ears.

"What is…?" my voice inquired weakly. I was at a loss for words as his eyes paralyzed me. They were staring softly, although he still wore a smirk.

Impatiently, he walked past me and opened the door. Snapping out of the trance, I quickly followed his lead. It was all just too good to be true.

"Aw, aren't you two a little young to be on a date at such a fancy place?" the hostess asked once we entered, smiling sweetly as my face burned scarlet and Lil' Slugger scowled.

"The reservation is under Li." He said coldly while she continued to beam at us. I thanked God quietly he hadn't brought his bat or he would've smacked that grin right off her face in an instant.

"Ok, right this way."

The atmosphere was dark with candlelight at each table and a large stage for the band. Upbeat music sent couples out to the floor, dancing wildly when the trumpet solo spat intense rhythms their way.

The happy-go-lucky hostess sat us in a surprisingly nice area close to the stage, leaving two menus and Lil' Slugger as pissed as ever.

"Did you see the look on her face? She deserves to die." He grumbled.

"Are you… Are you blushing?" I choked, failing miserably to suppress a laugh.

"No!" he said defensively, his cheeks flushing deeper and pupils dilating in panic.

"You are!" I said in surprise, still giggling like a child. I couldn't believe it, I finally got under his skin!

"Shut up." He glared, but his expression was still soft when he looked at me.

It was silent for a while as Li continued to sulk. I smiled and relaxed into my chair, enjoying the music and excitement of the night. When did he have time to set all of this up? I hadn't had this much fun since mom had died…

Her warm face appeared in my mind but I forced it to disappear. I didn't want to be sad today. It was a good day. I needed to be at peace for once.

"What can I bring you to drink?" a waiter asked when approaching our table.

I looked to Lil' Slugger but he still had that cross look on his face and refused to look at me.

"Uh…" the waiter looked nervously between Li and me.

"We'll have two cokes please." I said quickly.

"Yes Ma'am." He nodded and left hastily to retrieve our order.

"Are you really still mad at me?" my eyes studied him quietly.

"…"

"I didn't mean to make you look vulnerable or weak." I guessed that much could make him act the way he was.

He glanced at me but then began to study the menu without reply. I hoped he would lighten up once we got our food… or at least when the waiter returned. The music stopped and a man stepped to the microphone, bowing when applause filled the room.

"I'll be singing the next song, special request from Mr. Kaname to his new wife, Chiharu."

The audience let out an "aw" and clapped when the man stood up and offered a hand to his blushing spouse. Many couples followed suit and wrapped their arms around each other as the music began.

_Fly me to the moon, let me sing among those stars…(1)_

I nearly fell out of my chair when the lyrics first hit me. It was their song… It was my parent's song. Images of them dancing to the slow ballad clouded my mind, leaving me distraught and fighting tears.

_Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars_

Something touched my arm and pulled me out of my thoughts. I peeked up to see Lil' Slugger watching me bewilderedly. I shook my head and faked a grin, attempting to reassure him I was fine. He saw right through me.

_In other words, hold my hand_

Everything seemed to slow down as Li stood up, taking my hand in his, and lead me to the dance floor. He placed one hand on my back and with the other gave my palm a small squeeze. My free hand gently cupped his shoulder and I gave him an appreciative smile.

_In other words, baby kiss me_

We began to sway back and forth with the melody, everything around us melting together in an array of colors. I remembered how Dad would rest his cheek on Mom's temple while they danced and whisper the lyrics into her ear. In return she would laugh and cuddle closer. At the end of the song he would always dip her low and plant a chaste kiss on her rose lips.

"I didn't tell you how beautiful you look tonight." He whispered, pulling me closer until my face was nuzzled to his neck. I breathed in the familiar, calming scent and tears began to fall.

"T-thank you… Li." I sighed as he placed a light kiss on my forehead.

Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore 

"Jordan," his voice was hoarse. I lifted my head to see his expression uncharacteristically nervous. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you…"

His eyes flashed and never left my face. I held my breath anxiously, tears sparkling on my cheeks.

_You are all I long for, all I worship and adore_

"I've never had anyone before… anyone to talk to, anyone to protect, anyone to… love me. I've always been alone, my only human contact with my screaming victims, begging for freedom from life. But you… you came out of nowhere and you saved me from myself… You are my angel, Jordan."

"A-angel?" I whispered in awe.

_In other words, please be true_

"Yes, my angel. And I planned all this for you because I wanted to thank you somehow… and also because I realized that I need you, Jordan. I need you in so many ways. I—"

"Police! Freeze!" everything seemed to slow down as the music cut off and screams erupted all around.

I felt myself being torn from Lil' Slugger's arms and in panic I reached out my hand. He grabbed me and pulled me closer and closer until his warm lips finally caressed mine in their first passionate meeting, his kiss telling me everything he could not.

"Goodbye." He whispered and was ripped from my arms, our fingertips holding on for a brief second more.

_In other words, I love you_

"Li!" I screamed while struggling in a futile attempt to free myself from the strong grip.

The police dragged me outside, the beautiful red dress tearing in the process. I was becoming tired from fighting them, and felt myself slipping away. Why did it all have to end like this? I knew it was all too wonderful to stay.

I closed my eyes warily and defeated. The song was still running through my head because they hadn't finished the end. Dad had to dip Mom and then they had to kiss. It always ends the same.

"Li… I don't want to say goodbye."

_In other words, I love you._

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(1) "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra. Don't own this either.

This is not the end! But there will only be about 2 or 3 more chapters left! Please review and let me know what you guys think.

.kit kat


	6. Lover

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Untitled

By: kit kat

Chapter 6: Lover

A/N: There's a quick flashback to the present in the beginning of this chapter (remember this whole story has been a memory). Just incase you guys forgot…

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(Present POV)

It felt as if years had passed after reliving all the painful memories. Rain drenched me to the bone, not even allowing tears to soak my own cheeks. I shivered madly while trying to regain consciousness.

_Only a little further… I have to keep going._

I refused to die in the street. Shoes sifted through the flood as I reclaimed control over my weak legs and pushed forward through the wind. I tried so hard to focus on my destination but was failing miserably. The atmosphere grew fuzzy and my mind returned to the past, images of Li's face and lips impressed like a movie I couldn't turn off.

_Oh god… why?_

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(Past POV)

My eyelids opened weakly as a burning light beamed directly onto my face. Darkness engulfed the room but I was not alone. The silhouettes of my captors whispered quietly among one another when noticing my awakened state.

"Jordan." I heard a voice speak my name and I squinted to identify the hazy person standing before me.

"Jordan Bae."

"W-who are you?" I finally asked. "Where am I?"

"You are at the police station," a low voice answered from the light. "And I am detective Maniwa Mitsuhiro… I need to ask you a few questions."

"About what, my father?" I replied nonchalantly, avoiding the real subject of their interest.

"Well… Yes I guess we could start there." The voice grew closer until his shadow stepped out of the darkness, exposing his features.

The young man seemed out of place in the police scene: his chestnut bangs fell into genuinely caring eyes… he was still untouched and innocent from the blood and destruction of the world. Soon enough, I could tell, he would age just like the rest of him with worry lines and graying locks.

"Where were you on the night of your father's death?" he began timidly.

"Musasino park." My eyes remained cold and unmoving.

"And when did you discover… his death?"

"I came home at about four o'clock in the morning and found our house trashed. When I finally reached the kitchen, he was lying in a pool of his own blood, murdered."

"Is there anyone you know who wanted to kill him? An enemy, someone he owed money…?"

"No." it was short and to the point.

"The wound on his head—"

"Oh shut up, Maniwa! You're getting no where with this." Another man threw his fists to the table before stepping into the light as well.

"We know Lil' Slugger murdered your father," his fat demeanor and greasy, toothbrush moustache disgusted me almost as much as his tone. "And now you've been found linked to the serial killer."

"So?" I shrugged and his face grew red with anger.

"You better spill everything you know about Lil' Slugger to us, kid." His eyes narrowed, challenging me to talk back.

"Or what?" I dared.

"Or you'll face life in prison for aiding in the murder of your father and association with Japan's most wanted muderer."

"Please, Ikari." Maniwa begged, trying to step between the slob and me. "She's only a child. For all we know, she could've been threatened to stay with him."

"Ha, well that's not what all the witnesses at the club said. The police had to literally tear her away from his arms!" the detective called Ikari spat.

"Jordan…" Detective Maniwa turned to me and looked with "knowing" eyes. "You don't know how long we've been chasing Lil' Slugger. There are so many people, so many families… We just need some information."

"Information? You don't know anything about him. He saved those people from lives of destruction. Look at my father! He was a wreck. Lil' Slugger brought him salvation and the opportunity to go to heaven."

"It doesn't matter what kind of lives they led or what kind of people they were, kid. The point is that he _killed_ them. He took innocent lives that were not his to take. Those murdered deserve justice." Detective Ikari argued with my reasoning like I was some premature idealist who knew nothing about the morality of the world.

"People are not born naturally good, detective," my hands were shaking in rage at his ignorance. "Look at the world we live in. Even though you may carry a gun and throw the "bad guys" in jail, you have no control over Japan's ethics. If the incentive is great enough, human beings will do whatever they damn want, hurting themselves and everyone else around them in the process. Lil' Slugger was sent for that reason, to purge society of these broken creatures. He is only the messenger."

Both detectives stared at me in shock before Ikari burst out the door in frustration. Maniwa paced back and forth, possibly planning his next speech. I sat stoic and composed, refusing to break under his "kind" words.

"What will it take," he finally asked and my eyebrows rose slightly. "For you to tell me more about Lil' Slugger? I understand you may have developed feelings for him, but you have to understand that he is a serial killer, Jordan. He cannot provide any future for you and who's to say he'll stay?"

"Well I would much rather choose that life than one of endless foster homes." I retorted, tears shining on my cheeks.

"We can work something out… You could stay back in Tokyo with me and attend your same school. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I want to help you, Jordan. You've been through so much." He attempted to reason with me.

"Where is he? Where do you have him?" I asked, ignoring his offers.

"He's locked up in solitary confinement at this moment… in this station."

"Let me see him. Then I might talk."

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Maniwa lead me down the dark hallways of the station, sighing slightly as we neared the cell. We approached a cop guarding the room, and after a quick exchange with Maniwa, he unlocked the door and allowed us to step into the black room.

He stood in a corner of his cage, appearing uncharacteristic without his bat and skates. I fell against the door and reached my arms through the bars to him. The guard made a move to stop me but Maniwa shook his head. Lil' Slugger watched me quietly, never moving.

"Li…" I whispered, my eyes watering. "Please."

"I was wrong to lead you on like this," he took a few steps toward me but stopped only inches away from my fingertips. "Look at you."

The lone light hanging from the wall revealed his expressionless face, filling me with want and pain. His eyes seemed cruel, the golden yellow irises barely visible behind dilated pupils. My arms dropped, now clinging to the bars of the cell.

"W-what do you mean?" I smiled weakly, not believing his tone.

"You look like one of my victims: scrawny and teary-eyed. Weak."

"But I thought you… loved me." my heart was starting to break with each passing second as I sucked in my breath. The air around me was spinning nauseatingly fast.

"Love is just a word," He whispered, now close enough to press his face against the bars.

"No… I don't believe you." My body was trembling as I sunk to the floor. Maniwa started to approach me but I held up my hand, signaling I wasn't ready to leave.

"Don't be a fool, Jordan," Li knelt down to be even with me. "You were different from the others, but at the same time you are exactly the same. Did you think you could save me? Change me? Look at me."

Unable to ignore his command, my red eyes removed themselves from my hand and stared sorrowfully. He grabbed my hand through the space in the bars and pulled me closer until his hot breath hit my forehead.

"You cannot be my savior. Do you know why?"

I shook my head as short gasps escaped from my throat and my crying intensified. My face pounded against the cool metal of the bars as his hand refused to release my own.

"Why? Why?" I whimpered. "Why can't I save you? Why are you doing this?"

My body heaved with everything I had left and I moaned in pain. Memories of our passionate meetings in the park, the rain pouring over my first confession, the impassioned touch of our lips I never wanted to end… it all came back to haunt me as I lay there weeping from heartbreak. He squeezed my hand tighter and I looked up in despair. I didn't want an answer. I just wanted everything to go back to the way things were.

I gasped to see Lil Slugger's own face shining with gray tears, the large yellow eyes framed by wet lashes and furrowed eyebrows. He looked so beautiful with the pure rivers cascading down his cheeks that I reached out to catch his only evidence of humanity. I wanted to throw up as I witnessed his pain, but instead I cried more.

"You can't save me because this is what I am, the angel of hell. I am only the messenger; I cannot help you or give you anything. I cannot love you. This fate was sealed since the day I was cursed to this life and will end when I am no longer needed. Do you understand now?"

"Y-yes." My eyes squeezed shut as I nodded in ache. "But even if you cannot, I will always love you, Li."

He began to shake as he violently threw his arms through the bars to embrace me. Though the iron tried to separate us, our connection shone stronger than any material tests of the world and thus we continued to cry. We wept for our history and for each other, but most of all, for our forbidden love.

Our jaws mashed against the barrier, bringing our lips to a heated yet passionate meeting. I struggled to draw nearer and felt the bars begin to crush my face, leaving hard, black bruises as sacrifice. His tongue protruded my lips, caressing my mouth aggressively while his hands pulled me impossibly closer.

"Stop, you're hurting her!" Maniwa yelled in alarm as he and the guard snatched me from the arms of my love and drug me from the room. Before I was completely out, however, I took one last look at his demented grin. He winked and whispered words I will never forget:

"See you in hell."

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I wasn't allowed to watch Li's trial. Maniwa was afraid I would be prosecuted along with him, and negotiated a plea of house arrest for three months. Thus I was confined to the detective's apartment, a metal tracking device fastened to my ankle. I read the paper and watched the news with haunting obsession. Anything to bring me closer to my beautiful serial killer.

When Maniwa got home at seven almost every night, he brought sushi and rice. I questioned him constantly but he remained relatively quiet, afraid of damaging my already brittle health. An old woman named Kinomoto-sama lived in the apartment next to ours and watched me during the day. While she cooked ramen and white rice I could hear her silently cursing Lil' Slugger for my troubles.

The days were monotonous. Maniwa checked on me in the morning before he left for work and promised to be home by seven. Kinomoto-sama peeked in and fed me lunch around noon. Maniwa returned and watched the news with me, trying to ignite conversations not involving Lil' Slugger.

"What did you do today?" he inquired politely, watching my expressionless face glued to the TV.

"Same as always, nothing." I laughed sarcastically and his face fell. It almost pained me to treat Maniwa-kun so harshly. He had at least saved me from a life in prison and was always kind.

"Gomen nasai." I apologized, bowing my head in his direction.

"It's alright," he smiled. "But I've been meaning to ask you, would you like some arts supplies? To, you know, pass away some time."

I considered his suggestion. I had never really painted or drawn that much, minus mandatory art class back at my old school. But I realized that TV was becoming quite useless and boring. Finally, I nodded apprehensively and he grinned.

"Good. I saw a kit on sale in the market on my way home and well… here." He produced the box from his briefcase.

My hand ran over the gorgeous woodcarving as I opened the lid. Inside papers, ink, and paints were placed in handsome rows, itching to be used. Emotion flashed through my eyes when viewing the wonderful gift.

"Thank you so much, Mitsuhiro." I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to address him by his first name, but I was so taken aback it just slipped my mouth.

"Y-your welcome." He scratched the back of his head and smiled, blood visibly rushing to his cheeks. My eyebrows rose in amusement. I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction.

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"Hey, are you awake?" The sun was barely rising when Maniwa entered my room.

"Yeah…" I yawned, sleepy eyes focusing in his direction.

"I'll be home by seven. Make sure to behave yourself for Kinomoto-sama."

I nodded and let my head hit the pillow once more, determined to gain at least a couple more hours of sleep. But before dozing off, I felt his presence grow closer to the mattress. He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on my pink cheek.

"See you later." He quickly strode out of the room and I heard the main door lock shortly after.

I sat up in bed, puzzled by his affection. Now too confused to return to my warm blankets, I rolled out of bed and began to stretch. The wooden art box lay invitingly on my desk so I made up my mind to paint my thoughts and memories.

Laying out a few brushes and a sheet of paper on the table, I set to work creating the images that haunted me daily. A sky of black: fear. Rivers of red: blood. Blue rain drenching the people below. Even when Kinomoto-sama came to make lunch I remained in the same seat, painting pictures of my life.

"Jordan, who is this dancing couple? They look lovely." She smiled, pointing to the most serene of all my creations.

"My mother and father." I replied, eyes never leaving the paper before me.

When Maniwa walked through the door at seven, I had completed at least ten pictures, each portraying various parts of my lifetime. He gasped at the pictures hanging above the stove to dry in amazement. I knew they were elementary, far from professional.

"You did all of these today?" he flashed his signature grin.

"Yeah…" I felt uncomfortable being in his company after this morning's little surprise so I merely walked passed him into the small living room and turned on the news.

//Today's report continues with the Lil Slugger trial.// My ears perked up as I reached for the remote to turn up the volume.

//A jury and witnesses were finally formed after many people, too frightened to take part of the prosecution, dropped out and even left the country. Reports confirm Lil' Slugger has refused a lawyer. News Eight was lucky enough to capture some of today's footage…

"We call Lil' Slugger to the stand." My heart jumped when I saw him sulk up to the front of the courtroom and sit in the hot seat.

"What is your real name?" a pacing lawyer asked, a disgusted look on his face.

"Li," He smirked, eyes glowing. "But you are not allowed to call me that."

A gasp filled the room and chattering began uncontrollably. The judge silenced the people and watched Lil' Slugger laugh mercilessly. The lawyer began to recite a long list of victims to the jury but Li remained cool, his expression never changing.

"Did you murder these people, ahem, Lil' Slugger?" he stood dangerously close.

"I only swung the bat," he said. "The dying was left up to them."//

The TV went black as Maniwa turned it off quickly. I looked at him with narrowed eyes, asking why he would dare interrupt.

"That's enough for tonight, Jordan," he whispered. "You should go to bed."

"What's your problem," I finally asked. "Why can't I watch?"

"It's not good for your health…" he began lamely.

"Liar! Tell the truth or I swear to God—"

"Jordan, please! You don't understand," he reached his arm out sadly. "Because no one knows the legitimate age of Lil' Slugger, the court has defined him to be 18, legal age for prosecution in jail—"

"And the death penalty." I finished his sentence, my world shaking fiercely.

"The results are not looking so good either…" Maniwa mumbled. "He won't have a lawyer and he won't take a plea bargain. He won't say he's guilty but he won't say he's innocent. The evidence they have against him combined with his attitude… He was the most wanted and feared boy in Tokyo, Jordan! I doubt he will walk away from this alive."

"No… No!" I dropped to the floor and began to weep bitterly. "Why are they doing this? He isn't bad. He isn't bad."

Maniwa approached my body and gently laid a hand on my trembling back, rubbing back and forth to soothe my soul. I finally gave in to his comfort and wrapped my arms around his waist, my face burying deep into his chest. He smelled enticing but he was no Lil' Slugger. I only wanted my Li.

"Jordan… Jordan…" he whispered lightly, embracing me tighter. "I'm so sorry. You've been through so much."

I looked into his eyes and saw them filled deep with desire. I knew he was trying to hide it; he was holding back, afraid of taking advantage of me and afraid of my reaction. I deliberated his feelings, knowing I did not return them but wanting to be relieved of my pain.

My eyes locked with his again and I saw them turn yellow and crazed. It was horrible, I knew, to pretend he was Li, but I didn't care. We could both get what we wanted.

I lifted my chin and felt his lips eagerly fall on my own. It was nice but he was being too gentle. Li never held back. I shoved him against the wall and began kissing harder. In surprise he wrapped his arms around me and deepened the passion by flicking his tongue around my mouth.

"Are—mmm—you sure?" he moaned between kisses.

"Yes, just don't talk." I whispered coldly. He scooped my body into his arms and began heading toward the bedroom, clumsily knocking over lamps and running into the wall along the way. His inexperience was evident but I didn't let it faze me.

When we arrived he laid me on the bed and crawled on top, panting and fumbling with his shirt. All I could see was Li standing over me, smirking as he revealed a built body. I reached out and pulled him to me, tears forming in my eyes. It felt so good to be with my love again.

He helped me out of clothes swiftly, running his fingertips along my stomach sensuously. Teeth on my neck sent chills down body as the nibbling made its up and down my shoulder. My nails dug into his back as I brought his ear close to my lips.

"Please…" I whimpered, begging to be released from all the burdens of the world.

Li grinned and nodded softly as I arched my back with want. His lips found mine again and I was soaring, our souls seeming to detach from the chains of our bodies. I was floating among the stars and fading into the darkness as a white light.

He was surrounding me, haunting me as I felt a rippling sensation wash over my body and I moaned in pleasure. All I could see were colors bleeding together and his beautiful face watching me, eyes unblinking. In the distance, I could hear him cry out and his body froze as we both fell back onto the mattress.

"I love you." His voice whispered as his arms gathered me closer to his heaving body. I smiled and looked into the golden eyes, knowing he could finally say it. He was no longer the angel of darkness. He was my Li, and now we could be together forever.

He fell asleep and I gazed upon his features fondly. The tousled, chocolate hair fell into his fluttering lashes and his pale skin still held a glowing red. In the corner, his golden bat and skates lay untouched, never needed for the night. We could finally sleep in peace together without nightmares.

My eyelids began to feel heavy as I sifted through blankets to rest my head on his strong arm. I took one last look at his face, the most peaceful I had ever seen it.

"I love you too, Li." I sighed, falling out of consciousness. "For all eternity, I love you."

Tbc…

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Please don't kill me for this chapter! There's only **one** more left and I'll finally be done with this fic after over a year of your patient waiting and awesome reviews. At first I definitely wasn't planning the whole Maniwa/Jordan thing but I just got the idea and went with it, which is a good thing since it helped me write so much haha. So this story is definitely OOC, but I don't think it would have gone so smoothly with Lil' Slugger's normal attitude oO" haha. Please continue to R&R and I'll get the final chapter updated as soon as possible.

.kit kat


	7. Redemption

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Untitled

By: kit kat

Chapter 7: Redemption

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"Li don't leave me." I could feel his arms holding my waist securely as my face buried into his collarbone. The grip grew tighter and I began to struggle when the pain hit me.

"_Li—it hurts!" my body thrashed violently to escape his vice grip and I began pushing his chest away._

_Our eyes met and I screamed when I saw them bloodshot and open, black pupils seeming to engulf the yellow irises entirely. His pink tongue protruded from the side of his mouth as drool and blood ran together down his chin and onto my arms. A rope clenched tight around his neck and I noticed we were standing on a small platform barely made for one._

"_Let go." he whispered as he pushed my body away and the platform fell. For a second I caught his hand in my own but it was ripped away just as fast and I watched in terror as the noose tightened and began to choke him. My body was tumbling through a black hole and all I could see were his legs kicking and his face turn red with strain._

"_It hurts." He smiled widely._

"Li!" I breathed in shock, sitting up with sweat trickling down my forehead. The room was quite bright and the clock resting on the nightstand read 10 a.m. Reality slowly returned to me when I realized where I sat. A warm body sifted next to my own and I felt the arm around my waist pull me closer.

Shit… Maniwa. I had forgotten about last night's escapades and now my body lay glued to his bed. I despised cuddling with him as his fingertips lightly ran down my pale skin, sending shivers of disgust up my spine. Ever since my last encounter with Li at the station, I hated all forms of affection and mushy proclamations of love. Last night, I determined, was a desperate need for me to become reconnected with Li. All I wanted was the sex, not the post-spooning. Not the sweet words. Just the connection I had been denied for much too long. Even my nightmares of the deranged serial killer gave me sickening warmth. I was so happy to see his face…

"Are you ok?" Maniwa's hot breath brushed the entrance of my ear and I fathomed enough strength to refrain from punching him in the face. It was Saturday, I remembered loathingly, his day off.

"Peachy." I replied in a monotone haze, untangling myself from his child-like embrace and rolling off the bed. He watched my retreating form sadly, sitting up against the headboard and running a hand through slightly long bangs.

After arriving in the living room, I grabbed the abandoned remote and switched the TV on. Though it was late, I was intrigued to find a "breaking news" banner flashing at the bottom of the screen when I flipped to channel 8. The groomed reporter was standing in front of a very chaotic looking courthouse, other news teams and press could been seen on the steps taking pictures and yelling wildly as well.

/Many are surprised today to learn that the Lil' Slugger trial will conclude as word has leaked that a verdict was finally reached after a three hour hearing this morning./

My stomach lurched and I hastily turned up the volume, panic and anticipation overtaking my entire composition. They weren't expected to reach a decision for at least another week! What kind of evidence could have brought such a breakthrough? Could it be his behavior toward the jury and lawyers that pushed them to reach such a rash conclusion? Quietly, I bowed my head in prayer as tears bitterly stained flushed cheeks.

The cameras cut from an outside view into a still room, not a soul even breathing as if afraid to make any sudden movements and shatter the suspense. The only person looking even the least bit calm was Li as the camera quickly panned over his handsome features and revealed the boy leaning back in his chair looking almost a bit… bored. A middle-aged man who was balding at the crown of his head stood up, his hands shaking violently as he cleared his throat to read the jury's sentence.

"W-we, the joory, ahem jury, find Lil' Slugger guilty on the account of multiple murders in the first degree, assault…"/

The man's words meshed together as I stared in shock at the screen, my heart beating frantically. Li's face didn't budge when he heard the outcome of his fate. His piercing eyes glared into the camera and watched me, as if looking straight into my soul. I fell from the couch as the room began to spin around me sickeningly. Why was this happening? They didn't even know him! He's not bad… No, he's not bad. He smirked with a nonchalant air about him and allowed the cops to handcuff his wrists yet again.

"Li… No." my voice trembled as I crawled toward the TV, shaking lips contacting with the cool glass. The TV screen went black and I felt Maniwa's presence behind me.

"He's going to be tried on death row, you know." His voice sounded angry as he threw the remote across the room and it smacked against the wall. I refused to look at him as I stayed huddled by the TV. Tears began falling fiercely, but I remained silent.

"Will you be over him then?" he retreated back to his room and slammed the door.

A deep sense of loneliness paralyzed my body as I wept for my beautiful killer. What if he really did get sentenced to death? How could I keep living without him? Every odd in the book was against him. Every person in Japan hated him, wanted him gone. They all thought that by ridding the world of one person they could restore some kind of delusional feeling of peace back into society. But Li is only one person. There were still many on the loose who had done much worse, killed out of malice and evil. Lil' Slugger, after all, was only the messenger.

"Jordan." I shivered and knew it was his voice was calling to me. Haunting me.

"Li… I need you so bad. Why did you leave me?" my legs began to guide me toward the voice, my pupils dilating wide in a trance. I pushed open the door and saw him sitting on the bed, weeping. Don't cry, Li.

"What do you want?" his voice bristled sharply, yellow irises glaring. Li, don't push me away.

I continued to walk nearer, his voice mumbling protests, until I straddled him on the bed. He grew silent as I ran my hands through the unkempt hair and blew cold air over his salty cheeks. My lips adorned his forehead with kisses as he finally wrapped wary hands around my waist, moaning quietly. I love him so much. God, how can I love him so much?

"Jordan." A voice whispered, delivering me from the wonderful trance. I stopped immediately and felt myself grow sick when I realized I was on top of Maniwa, his eyes giving me a confused look. "Why did you stop?"

"Oh my God." I pushed myself away from Maniwa and ran down the hall. In the bathroom I began to vomit violently as sweat dampened my face and clothes. I could have sworn it was real. I was with Li, not Maniwa! Oh God, why?

"Jordan? Jordan!" Maniwa started to pound on the door while I retched into the toilet and ignored his concern.

"Go… away…" I panted, holding the bowl for support.

"What did I do? Please tell me what to do!" it was really quite pitiful, hearing a grown man cry the way Maniwa did. Part of me felt guilty for doing this to him. He was a kind man and he did save me from imprisonment, but a majority of me loathed his weakness. He was nothing like Li. How could he possibly think he could ever replace him?

Gathering my strength, I stood on shaking legs and slowly opened the door. I allowed him to wrap his arms around me but I remained stiff as he buried his sobbing face in my shoulder.

"Why are you torturing me like this, Jordan?" his eyes pleaded with me, "Why, why?"

"I'm not feeling well…" I replied in a sharp monotone, "Can I go to my room now?"

His face showed a hurt expression but nodded as I left his side. My bed looked strangely inviting as I collapsed into the sheets and clung to my pillow. I closed my eyes when I heard Maniwa enter the room and approach the bed. To my surprise, he crawled in next to me and began rubbing my back soothingly. I sighed and felt myself slip away, images of Li being lead away in handcuffs plaguing my mind before sleep found me.

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Many weeks passed and I found myself watching the rain slide down Maniwa's car windows as we drove to the police station early that morning. Today marked the end of my three-month house arrest sentence, thus allowing me to finally leave the restricted areas of the apartment complex. With that in mind, Maniwa decided to take me with him to work and see if I could be of any use over the next couple of days. June had just arrived, and with all the school I had missed this passed year, it made me a prime target for summer school. I think he was afraid I would run away if I were left on my own.

He thought right.

"Don't worry, it won't be anything too intricate. I want you to have fun. After all, this is your first day out of the house in a long time." I listened to him ramble on, my dull expression refusing to budge.

At the station, Maniwa brought me to his office and pulled out a huge stack of paperwork and placed it on the desk. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a glint of gold appear from the drawer before he slammed it shut. The files had case names printed neatly on the tabs and several were stamped "closed." I sighed noisily when realizing those folders were probably part of my "job" for the day.

"It's really easy. All I need you to do is look in the folders and find the last date. Then file them chronologically in order of time while separating them into piles of case closed or unsolved," he looked to me for reassurance so I nodded. "Take as many breaks as you need. Did you bring your art supplies?"

"Yes… they're in here." I gestured toward the backpack I let hit the floor.

"Alright. I'll get you for lunch."

The door closed and I sighed loudly. Maniwa sure knew how to show a girl a good time. I picked up the first folder and flipped through its contents until a list of dates were found. Picking up a stray pencil, I noted the date on the outside of the folder and laid it back down on the desk. Thrilling.

After hours of the repetitive work, my mind began to wander back to Lil' Slugger. Maniwa had put a child block on all news channels back at the apartment, so I had literally no idea what was going on with death row. I dreamed about Li nearly every night, asking him how he was and what he was thinking about. He would just stare quietly with that trademark look in his eye before pinning my body to the floor and making love to me. I was only truly happy when I was asleep. Only then could I tell him how much I missed him.

I shifted some of the files around and spotted a newspaper hiding underneath the mountain of work I had left. My heart raced as I snatched it into my fists and began scanning over the articles. A bold headline caught my eye, reading: "Lil' Slugger trial speeds through Death Row: verdict reached." Fighting the urge to scream, I continued to read the column with haste.

/In a one month's span since the infamous serial was pronounced guilty of capital murders in the first degree, the Death Row jury unanimously issued Lil' Slugger with the death penalty yesterday. The court had few appeals for the case, making it one of the fastest execution trials in Japan's history.

Recent reforms in the execution system have strayed away from hanging prisoners and toward the lethal injection due in part to protests in the mid-90s (1). As result, the jury ordered an injection of three drugs tomorrow at the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. The penalty will occur at the traditional hour of midnight in order to leave time for any last appeals, which may alter the guilty status of the prisoner…/

I couldn't understand much more after that, my head was spinning so fast. The death penalty. Lethal injection. How could they decide this all so quickly? Was a life really that easy for them to throw away, within a matter of weeks?

"No!" I screamed hoarsely, tearing the paper into shreds and burying my face into shaking hands. What was I going to do? I didn't even have 24 hours.

The clock caught my eye and I realized Maniwa would come for me shortly. I gathered the newspaper shreds and attempted to hide them in the drawer he had opened earlier this morning. To my dismay, it was locked tight and would barely budge against my attempts to pry it open. With frustration and curiosity, I snatched one of the bobby pins out of my hair and picked at the lock the way I had seen in movies. After a few seconds of jamming the clip around, the lock clicked and I pulled it open.

The golden bat lay before me, gleaming inside a plastic bag labeled "evidence." My mouth dropped in anger. How did Maniwa manage to steal this? He probably made some ridiculous excuse to conveniently borrow the tool for "further investigation." Loud footsteps coming down the silent hall sent a shock of panic through my spine. I grabbed my backpack and shoved both the bat and newspaper shreds against my untouched art supplies. I closed the drawer and began flipping through a folder, Maniwa's face appearing in the door seconds later.

"Ready to go?" he smiled. I swallowed every urge to punch him.

"Yes… let's go."

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My plan wasn't going to be easy. In fact, I doubt it could've been called much a plan anyway. The never-ending ride back to Maniwa's apartment gave me time to think about what would happen tonight. The realization that I would never see Li again literally drove me crazy. It was torture to hold back all the tears that were threatening to fall. I wanted badly to suddenly grab the steering wheel and hurtle the car into oncoming traffic, but I knew if I didn't get to see him one last time, I would never rest in peace.

"So—erm, would you like to stop and get something to eat?" the light bulb turned on.

"No, I was actually thinking maybe I could cook dinner to—you know—thank you for taking me in. I never really did." I turned to him and gave him a slightly seductive smile. Maniwa coughed as his face went red. He was just too easy sometimes.

"I would like that, Jordan." His placed a shy hand on my knee and grinned. I forced myself not to scowl.

"Great." I said through a clenched jaw.

I never considered myself "one" with the kitchen, but desperate times called for spaghetti. Maniwa lurked around the kitchen as I added noodles to the boiling pot and stirred the sauce on an adjacent burner. While searching through the refrigerator, I spied a can of whip cream Maniwa had used to decorate a cake a couple of night ago. A wry smile spread over my features. I was past the point of feeling guilt.

"Do you need any help?" he asked for what seemed the fiftieth time.

"Um, no. I was just looking for desert."

"The cake—"

"Don't worry. I have something else in mind." My voice lowered seductively.

We ate in silence, the clock ticking loudly in the background. Every once in a while I caught Maniwa staring at me. With pleasure, I dismissed his groveling with a small smile and a wink. The color in his face matched the tomato sauce quite splendidly.

"Well, that was… good." He announced, letting his fork rattle on the plate as a gesture of eagerness.

"I'm glad you liked it," I whispered, drawing closer to his face. "Are you ready for round two?"

"Y-yes."

Taking him by the hand, I lead him down the hallway and opened the door to his room. His hands ran down my back to seize me in a passionless kiss. I pushed him toward the bed, unbuttoning his shirt swiftly.

"Don't you want your desert, Mitsuhiro-kun?" my voice purred lightly into the crevice of his ear, causing him to spasm.

"P-please! Jordan!" he cried, bucking his hips with need.

"Let me get it. I'll be back in a minute." I moved slowly out of the room but began to run once past the door. In order to avoid suspicion, everything must be done with quick timing.

Once in the kitchen, I snatched a knife, the whip cream can, and a rolling pin. Before heading back to Maniwa's room, I entered the bathroom and searched through the cabinets. Grabbing a container, I smashed the bottle against the sink to release the precious pills inside. The knife pounded hard against the counter when I ground the tablets into a powder and then preceded to dump it into an incision I had made on one of the strawberries. I took off my shirt and pants before entering the room, hoping to make my longer than necessary excursion look credible.

"Sorry, didn't make you wait too long, did I?" I whispered, posing at the door with the whip cream and bowl of strawberries. He gulped as his eyes ran over my pale body, watching every move with such intensity I felt slightly scared. I pushed away my fears and continued to sway my hips toward the bed, knowing this plan would fail if I dropped character.

"Let me feed you…" I placed the bowl and can onto the bed and crawled toward his shaking body. My hands wandered over his abs and pushed him flat against the mattress. Grabbing the first strawberry, I allowed the juices to dribble down my arm as I dosed the fruit immensely with cream, fearing he would taste the pills and see right through my charade. I pressed my chest to his and rubbed the strawberry against his lips while he moaned in ecstasy.

"Mm, Jordan. This is—_pant_—so nice." The berry slipped into his mouth and my eyes grew large. He chewed slowly and I grew impatient, forcing another piece into his mouth despite the protests.

"Come on," I hissed, "Eat it." He obeyed hesitantly, gobbling more and more until his lids began to droop and breathing slowed.

"I feel funny…" he whispered while I licked the sides of his neck and massaged his tense arms.

"Relax, relax." I cooed, watching his form finally engage into a deep sleep. He snored silently and his grip loosened enough for me to escape. My hands reached into his pocket and felt the familiar keys jingle. I looked with a smirk back once I reached the doorframe. It was rather pathetic how trusting and naïve he was. "Sleep tight."

In about ten minutes I was flying out of the apartment, my heart beating fast. My backpack dropped into the front seat of Maniwa's car with a loud clunk and I revved the engine, throwing the clutch into reverse. I wasn't the most experienced of drivers but luckily it was late enough to avoid most traffic and speed. There were only a few hours remaining until the injection, I was getting frantic.

Using my memory, I followed the streets Maniwa had driven earlier that day toward the station. The brakes screeched at every stop, jumpstarting my nerves. My mind began playing tricks and all I could see in front of me was a skater with a red hat flying on metallic skates. I blinked and shook my head furiously in attempt to focus. The station was only a couple blocks away.

I spotted at least five news station vans in the distance as I parked in a dark alley. My backpack emptied onto the front seat as I reached for the golden bat. With the bag secured tightly over my shoulder, I got out of the car and watched the closest van closely, waiting for my next victim. Finally, a woman with "Channel 8 News" ball cap exited the van carrying an armful of equipment and supplies.

"Excuse me! Excuse me!" I called her, waving my hand. "Please help!"

"Are you alright?" The woman placed her camera beside the van and ran across the street toward my position. "What happen—?"

The golden bat emerged from the darkness and connected with her forehead, producing a sickening crunch. I quickly swung over and over to prevent her from screaming, pounding her head into a soft mess. Dragging her into the darkness, I salvaged what I could of her bloody clothes and stole her press pass ID necklace and hat, fitting it snuggly over my head. I slipped the bat back into my bag and crossed the street quickly, gathering the supplies she had left while approaching the police station.

I entered and flashed my pass to surrounding guards. They directed me down a dark hall as the clock ticked on. 11:56. I was going to make it.

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"It's almost time…" the timekeeper nodded to one of the policemen. Shortly after, Lil' Slugger entered the cramped room in handcuffs. The press went wild, cameras flashing and voices chattering in anticipation. A hush was demanded over the room as the teen was strapped into a nearby chair, his gold eyes flashing with amusement as he eyed the crowd.

I snuck into the room quietly and hid the camera to avoid attention. The sight of his face sent me into shock as I sucked in my breath and our eyes met. He didn't show any signs of surprise or fear, just general interest. I looked desperate, trying to convey everything I wanted to say through nonverbal means.

_Don't leave me, I can't go on like this anymore. I need you!_

The timekeeper's watch began to beep. My nails dug firmly into the skin of my palms as I resisted the urge to scream. The room was completely silent now, interrupted only by the snapping noise and flash of multiple cameras. Two policemen appeared on either side of Lil' Slugger and fastened IVs into both of his arms, the saline slowly beginning to drip through the tubes. Once everything was set, the station warden approached the crowd and cleared his throat, ready to commence in the execution.

"It is now midnight and no final appeals to the case of Japan vs. Lil' Slugger have been made. The prisoner has been sentenced to death by lethal injection. The prisoner shall be allowed one final statement before I signal the beginning of the execution. The first drug administered will be sodium thiopental, a chemical that will initiate unconsciousness. The second injection will contain pancuronium, a muscle relaxant. The final dose will contain potassium chloride, an agent that stops the heart." (2)

"I will now allow the prisoner time for any final statement."

Time seemed stop completely as he stared into my eyes. The entire room held their breath as he opened his mouth slightly to lick his lips. He diverted his gaze quickly away from mine and stared into the distance, a smirk gracing his stoic features.

"I was only the messenger… see you in hell."

The press gasped in disgust and protest, some even shouting: "Kill him! Kill him!" The warden waved his hand in slow motion and the first dose was injected through the tubes of the IVs. I watched on in horror, the chemical seeming to twist and turn through the tubes while it entered his veins. His eyelids fell and his body slumped against the bondage, unmoving.

A second signal was given after a few moments had passed and the muscle relaxant was distributed. It was horrifying to watch his face instantaneously detract like a mushy Jell-O. His mouth gaped widely and even his eyes opened halfway. Horrifying.

I sucked in my breath when the last signal reached the air, unavoidable tears now wetting my cheeks and clothes. To everyone's shock, Li's eyes flew open wildly once the potassium chloride hit his body. A deep choking noise came from his throat and his face grew red with strain. The press roared loudly, confused and upset over the inhumane manner of his death. I began to scream now, hysterics overtaking me as he choked to death much in the same way that he did in my nightmares.

"This isn't supposed to happen!" the warden proclaimed in fear. "Quick, give him more sodium thiopental!"

One of the nurse's hands fumbled with the viles as she grabbed the IV and attempted to inject the knockout drug as quickly as possible. However, in panic she had administered the second chemical, leaving Lil' Slugger to freeze up instead. Although his noises stopped, the gold eyes still held intense pain, tears glazing over but failing to fall.

He was looking right at me again, motionless and defeated. The sight overwhelmed me; I had never seen him look this weak before. Still, I refused to break our connection and continued to stare back as the black pupils quivered, making the yellow around them brighten and soften all at the same time.

He was looking right at me when suddenly I understood. Everything we had was going to last, and not even the barriers of heaven and hell could keep us apart. I could see that he loved me, and I was whispering back that I loved him too.

'Not even death will keep me away from you.'

For a brief moment, he smiled maniacally. Then, he was gone.

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I don't remember slipping out of the execution room before anyone noticed I was not a real journalist. I don't remember turning the correct directions to get home in Mainwa's car. All I could remember was Li's expression, the piercing eyes burning into my memory like hot coals.

Somehow I was now standing before the apartment door in one piece, bag and all. The door creaked slightly as it opened and I floated in like a zombie. The clock in the kitchen read three. Had the whole execution really taken that long, or had I just driven so slow that time escaped me while I was lost in my own forlorn thoughts?

"Where have you been?"

The voice behind me trembled with anger and hurt. I turned around slowly to face Maniwa, my face frozen in an emotionless state to counter the pathetic lecture I knew was sure to come. I stared at him and my heart seemed to stop. Every aspect of his posture to the gaping mouth reminded me so much of Li during his final moments. I wanted to die.

"I—I went to the execution."

"Why." He demanded, eyes narrowing.

"Because," I started, my voice lowering, "I wanted to see my love one last time before being slaughtered for crimes that weren't even justifiable."

"Justifiable?! Justifiable? Jordan, he murdered over 15 people with a bat. He killed women, children… even the elderly. He smashed their heads in with a fucking aluminum bat! Are you crazy, or just too naïve to see what's before your own eyes?"

I said nothing, knowing my words would have no effect.

"Jordan, please," he kneeled before me, taking my hand in his desperately. "Let's get away from here. Just you and me. We'll leave Japan forever and never look back. Just forget everything and everyone that was here… We can get married and start a life together. You can try for a GED and I'll find a job wherever we end up… please, Jordan…"

"How dare you," I proclaimed, snatching my hand from his, "Suggest I leave behind Lil' Slugger. Never."

"I love you!" he was now in hysterics. "God, Jordan… I've loved you from the very start. And our night together… did that not mean anything to you?"

"Our night?!" I began to laugh coldly, "Our 'night' together was result of my longing for Lil' Slugger. I imagined you were him the entire time. I do not love you, Maniwa, and I don't think I ever will."

A gunshot sounded, flying past my head and shattering the clock above the stove. I stared bewildered as he held the gun before me, his hands shaking uncontrollably. Tears glistened on his hardened face and his eyes looked crazed with passion.

"If I didn't love you half as much as I do," he whispered, finally lowering the gun, "That bullet wouldn't have missed, I can promise you that much."

Maniwa turned from me and stormed off to his room, sobbing pitifully as he ran. I would've felt sorry for him, but I was unable to grasp that emotion anymore. My head hit the wall behind me as I slid to the floor. I was shaking and crying, but not because of him.

"Li… Li! Don't leave me! How am I supposed to go on like this? For days? For years? I can't. Not anymore."

My eyelids felt heavy, so I closed myself from the world, welcoming darkness to take me away from all the pain.

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It was almost five o'clock at night when I awoke and my neck felt cramped from sleeping against the stiff wall. Rain was now furiously falling outside. I could hear the drops beat the roof and as lightening across the window lit the darkened room. Mechanically, I picked myself up and gathered my backpack yet again. I couldn't stay here any longer, especially after all that I had said.

I entered Maniwa's room without knocking and whisked quickly to his bedside. His back was toward me with the bedding wrapped tightly around his entire body. I heard his whimpering and finally felt remorse. He looked like a child, reminding me so much of myself after my mother died and my father lost himself in his booze.

"I'm leaving." My voice cracked quietly as I sat beside him in the bed. "I… I'm very sorry for what I said and did to you. You have been very gracious to me and shown me kindness I never really deserved."

He turned toward me and I felt ashamed to see that his eyes were puffy and red. I almost wished I could somehow learn to love him. I pondered if that was at all possible. But when I saw myself being held in a tight embrace and feeling warm lips crashing against my own, I could only imagine Lil' Slugger… My Li.

I could never forget his untamed hair, flying freely at the ends of his red baseball cap. Or his tall, lean form, which was surprisingly muscular underneath all the baggy clothes. But most of all, I could never erase that penetrating gaze I had met so many times before, the way the gold irises had shown so clearly in the stars and made my heart stop every time.

I was head over heels for him, and nothing could take that away. Not Maniwa, not anyone.

"Goodbye, Maniwa Mitsuhiro."

I leaned forward and rested my lips on his warm forehead before exiting the room without looking back. When I opened the front door, however, I snuck one quick peek at the home I had known for so many months now. This wasn't who I was and I felt no pang of sadness to leave it.

As the door closed, a single gunshot from Maniwa's room echoed throughout the still apartment. But that too was soon drowned out by the sound of the rain.

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(AN: This entire story has been a flashback since the beginning of chapter one. The flashback has now ended and will resume in the present.)

I opened my eyes and realized I was still lying on the hard cement of the street. The rain had soaked me to the bone and my teeth were chattering uncontrollably. I couldn't believe all I had gone through in the past year to get to this point, but I would be damned if I were to die now in the street.

My arms and legs used everything they had to lift me up, fighting against the salty water threatening to keep me down. I wasn't really sure where I was going, but I could hear a voice beckoning me and showing me the way. I was sure it was him.

The sound of skates resonated softly through the downpour and I squinted, not believing my eyes. There he was before me, a glowing figure summoning me with outstretched arms.

"Li!" I cried, reaching out for him. Our hands locked and sent electricity through my body. He was showing me the way, flying down streets and into the darkness of the forest we had traveled long ago. I tried my best to keep up with his fluid pace as my energy began to slip away. And finally, after what seemed like hours of running, he stopped.

The rain had slowed down to a trickle and slight sunbeams pushed down through the trees upon a small structure a few feet away. Lil' Slugger kneeled before it and quickly disappeared into the light. Now I could see it clear as day: a plain, black cross. I drew closer to inspect the single word carved neatly in the center.

"Li." I read, my voice trembling.

He had taken me to his final resting place and I couldn't be more grateful. I laid down in the damp grass, clinging to the earth as if holding his actual body. I kissed the ground over and over, weeping tears I didn't know I still had in me. God, I missed him so badly and yet he hadn't even been gone for a day. How could I spend my life in this hell on Earth knowing it could be decades before I would see him again?

I removed a bat from the inside of my backpack and stared at my blurred reflection in the worn gold. Raindrops ran down the aluminum, creating an illusion of tears on the cheeks of the girl staring back. Luckily for me, neither Maniwa nor the station had ever noticed it was gone, probably too wrapped up in their own selfish relief that he was dead.

Smiling, I held the bat before me and swung, feeling the cold metal collide with my skull. My body crumpled to the ground like a wilting rose and I closed my tired eyes.

As I lay there with my blood running through the long grass, I wondered if Lil' Slugger was in heaven or hell. He wasn't really evil, only the messenger, as he would so often say. Could he have been saved after all?

I knew I would pay for this sin, but if it meant I could see him again, even for only a moment, I would gladly burn for all eternity.

"_I am the angel from hell... I am not your savior, I am a creature of the damned."_

The rain ceased and clouds faded, letting more rays of sunlight fall onto Li's grave. I hugged the golden bat close and began to shiver. The pain was finally numbing... It was almost time to go.

Images flashed before me of Blake bleeding in the grass, Mom and dad kissing in the kitchen, running from the police, skating through the storm from hell, my last dance with Li… My life was playing before me and all I could do was lie there and accept that I was throwing it all away.

_In other words, please be true._

"Jordan…" I could hear his voice whispering, a burning desire throughout my soul. "Jordan…"

In other words, I love you.

"I'm coming, Li…" I murmured, the world fading peacefully around me.

"See you in hell."

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(1) and (2): I got this information from Wikipedia, specifically the articles Death Row and Lethal Injection.

The end! That was intense, I was on the verge of tears just writing it. I must thank all my reviewers and those who waited patiently for me through periods of writer's block and times when I was too busy to even think about writing. It's been a joy to write this fic and I hope you guys enjoyed it as well, even the sad ending.

.kit kat


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